How to deal with a difficult team member (without losing sleep or your best people)
Let’s be honest….you already know who I mean.
The team member who’s always late, eye-rolls in meetings, or snaps at others like it’s part of the job description.
And as much as you try to overlook it, it’s costing you—mentally, emotionally, and financially.
Not just in lost productivity, but in the silent departure of brilliant team members who’d rather leave than stick around in a toxic environment.
I see this a lot with the incredible women I work with—driven, passionate business owners who’ve built something special, but feel stuck because one person is disrupting the culture.
And I get it. Having that conversation can feel like the emotional equivalent of a root canal.
But here’s what happens when you delay (and I say this with love, because I’ve seen it firsthand):
Your most loyal team members quietly start job hunting
Productivity drops while everyone’s distracted by the drama
Clients pick up on the tension and start questioning your service
Revenue suffers—sometimes by as much as 30% in small teams
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
I’ve seen businesses bounce back beautifully after addressing the issue directly. The energy shift is instant. You feel lighter. Your team breathes easier.
Here’s where to start:
1. Start with a quiet conversation
No formal meeting invites. Just a simple check-in:
“How are things going?”
You will be amazed what opens up.
Sometimes the behaviour is masking something deeper – stress at home, feeling excluded, or simply not realising how their actions are being perceived.
Listen first. You might find the fix is easier than you imagined.
2. Be clear, kind and direct
Once you’ve listened, be specific about what needs to change:
“When deadlines slip, our clients lose trust—and so do I.”
“Your tone in meetings is stopping others from speaking up.”
“I need emails responded to within 24 hours so we can move things forward.”
You’re not criticising—you’re helping them succeed. That framing makes all the difference.
3. Keep it simple
No 10-page improvement plans. Just grab a notebook and jot down:
2–3 key changes you need to see
What success looks like in plain language
When you’ll check in again (weekly is best at first)
Any support they need—flexibility, training, a mentor
I’ve seen relationships shift in just 30 minutes with this approach.
4. Follow through
This is where many business owners (understandably) drop the ball.
You’re busy. Life happens. But if you don’t follow up, you’re sending the message: this isn’t really a priority.
So book those check-ins now.
And when things improve? Say so!
“You handled that client call brilliantly—that’s exactly what we talked about. Well done.”
If things slide again, address it that day.
“Can we have a quick chat about what happened just now?”
5. Know when enough is enough
After 3–4 weeks, you’ll know if there’s progress. If not, it might be time for plan B.
This is where having HR support makes a big difference.
Because the legal and emotional toll of getting it wrong? It’s heavy and expensive.
I’ve helped business owners navigate exits cleanly, kindly and legally, protecting your business and your peace of mind.
Your team is watching
Every day you allow poor behaviour to continue, you’re telling the rest of the team: “This is okay here.”
But when you handle it calmly, fairly and firmly, you reinforce your values far more powerfully than any team-building day ever could.
If you’re facing a tricky team situation and need a sounding board, I’m here.
Sometimes just having another person in your corner, who’s been through it with other clients, makes all the difference.
Let’s talk about making your workplace one where everyone can succeed.